Fanfiction-Ulquiorra Wants Tacos- Chapter One


Although Ulquiorra was an unusually melancholic figure, who never seemed to feel overjoyed, excited or anxious to get on with anything, there was one thing that made his eyes brighten up just a little, and his movements to become a little more fidgety, and even once, a smile danced on his lips. That thing, of course, was fresh, hot, crispy tacos.

Not many people know of this, actually. He tries to keep his weaknesses a secret, but when someone showed up from the human world with tacos, Ulquiorra couldn’t help but grab them and run off to his room. It was a guilty pleasure of his. The craving for them would come around every once in a while, and God help whoever Aizen sent to go get them, because Aizen was always at least semi-happy to see his most faithful Espada enjoy a reward. Usually Szayel was sent, because he’d read up the most on the human world. However, when he wasn’t available, Aizen let Ulquiorra pick.

So it was the Espada's unhappy day when Ulquiorra decided he really, really, reallywanted some tacos, now. And Szayel was doing important tests today, so he was not to be disturbed. Nnoitra and Grimmjow were most afraid, for good reason, because they were fond of pushing poor emo kid around as an entertainment purpose.

‘Ulquiorra, you may choose today. Szayel is busy.’ Ulquiorra scanned over the five Espada present that looked back, mostly neutral. Some people disliked going to the human world because of all the colors, but mostly they didn’t care.

‘Ulquiorra…?’ Aizen looked at him expectantly.

‘Grimmjow,’ Ulquiorra said.

‘Damn,’ was the other arrancar’s cheery reaction. Ulquiorra opened garganta for Grimmjow as a simple courtesy. Grimmjow mumbled angrily about it not being fair and stepped through.

Grimmjow swaggered through the streets of whatever town they’d dumped him off in this time. There was something fun, he decided, in people seeing you. Humans were such timid creatures, who kept staring at his blue hair and the marks around his eyes. They probably thought he didn’t notice, either. Oh well, he enjoyed the attention. He also liked the feeling of human clothes. They hugged him in all the right places, or at least his did. In fact, they pretty much were tight everywhere. Maybe Ulquiorra’s stupid taco thing wasn’t so bad after all.

Luckily, he only had to walk a little ways to get to some kind of taco-selling building or another. It had taco right in the name, so they would sell tacos, hopefully. It only seemed logical to Grimmjow. He walked into the establishment, inhaling the scent of food and people. Man, was he hungry. He waited in line, looking at the people in front of him. They were really pissing him off. They had a little girl who kept whining and were ordering what seemed like enough food to feed themselves for a week. Then the older woman one couldn’t find her wallet. Wait, did he have money? Oh, wait, he did. He was given some bills or another before he left. He was surprised they didn’t get out the shock anklet thingy, he could easily get distracted and run after something he shouldn’t like last time when Luppi wanted some kind of girly hair spray. However, he really didn’t want to do that, since he had detested the little androgynous bastard with a passion.

‘Sir? Sir? Siiiir?’ Grimmjow was pulled out of his thoughts by some teenaged girl chewing gum staring at him expectantly. She had pigtails. That annoyed him to no end, for some reason. Should a girl who was old enough to work have pigtails? Or maybe he was just irritated from past experiences with Cirucci.

‘Yeah…can I have, like, twelve tacos?’

‘Beef or chicken?’

‘What?’

‘We have two kinds, beef and chicken.’ Grimmjow glared at the cashier, who stared at him in a bored way as she chewed her bubblegum.

‘I don’t give a fuck. Just beef, I guess.’

‘Suuure. Would you like to try our new dessert taco? It has—‘

‘I. Don’t. Care. Just get me my damn food. Here.’ He shoved the bills in the girl’s hands. She sighed and pressed a few buttons on the cash register. A few moments later, she handed him a receipt and some money back.

‘Wait for your order number, here, to be called sir.’ He looked at it suspiciously as the girl sighed and slumped her shoulders. This is retarded, Grimmjow thought, staring at his number. He waited next to the family from before, not willingly, but because it was closest to both the door and the counter. He looked at the little girl from before, who was staring at him as if he had smallpox.

‘What?’

‘Why are you wearing makeup?’

‘Because I think it’s sexy, why do you ask strangers personal things, you little brat? Huh?’ The girl looked indignant for a second before Grimmjow heard his number called. He flipped the girl off and grabbed Ulquiorra’s tacos. He walked proudly out of the restaurant as the girl tugged on her mother’s sleeve and pointed at Grimmjow, who really couldn’t care.

He was very hungry. When was Ulquiorra supposed to pick him up? Ah yeah, when he got back to his original spot. He wondered how they’d know, since his old nemesis, the shock anklet thingy, was not attached. God he hated it. Almost as much as the ‘Bad Collar’. There was something degrading about wearing a collar and being pet by Wonderwice like he was a housecat that really couldn’t be described, but he’d had to put up with it all. Sometimes he half-cursed his amazingly sexy way of shrugging off authority. Then again, he usually didn’t. Deciding that he was far too bored and totally not ready to return to the emo taco whore, Grimmjow headed off in a general north-ish direction. Surely, something interesting would happen.

And lo and behold, Grimmjow is the magnet for wonderful things. About three blocks away from the field where he was dropped off, he found a liquor store. No time was better to stock up on alcoholic beverages that guaranteed both an interesting night with someone, preferably not Szayel this time, maybe Orihime or Halibel, a girl would be nice, and as an added bonus, a reason to be even more rude to the other Arrancar. Fun times to be had. He had enough money left for something, probably. Actually, after searching all his pockets, he found quite a bit more, and purchased more than enough for one person. Luckily, his rendezvous spot was close by, and it wasn’t a far walk with the heavy bags in his hands. Once there, he only had to wait a few seconds before he saw a very deprived looking Ulquiorra waiting for him.

‘Here are your stupid tacos.’ He shoved the bag in his arms, rolling his eyes as Ulquiorra pawed through the bag once they had returned to Hueco Mundo.

‘Are they beef or chicken?’

‘Why do people keep asking me that? They’re beef.’

‘Alright, thanks, I’m not fond of chicken.’

‘Like I care.’ But Ulquiorra didn’t hear him, he was already off to enjoy his food.

‘Freak, probably makes love to the tacos,’ Grimmjow commented to nobody in particular. He looked over at Halibel and pulled out a bottle from one of his many paper bags full of booze.

‘Heey. Want some? I got it this afternoon?’

‘Go find your other drinking buddies, Grimmjow, but I know you’ll get anyone smashed.’

‘No fun…where’s Stark?’

‘Where do you think?’

‘I freaking hate that couch,’ Grimmjow mumbled and went off to find Orihime, or someone.